tending sands

fuck it. this is pointless. no one should have this kind of control over an artists pure speech and expression and opinions. no one. ever. i am not any of your slaves, i am not a fucking puppet. i am not anyones to control. i am not working for any of you, nor do any of you contribute to anything that benefits me. 

i might as well just drop dead. this is stupid. i fucking hate it.

nothing about this treatment makes me support anyone more. everything about it infalmes this more. and every reaction is an escalation instead of anything close to deescalation. 

i am a student of the fine arts. if you dont have a bachelor degree in fine art, you should not be in control of my artistic expression and opinion as a free citizen of the united states. and you wonder why i say i want to revoke my citizenship? because of this. idc if its to a country who allows less freedom. at least it wont be a country that took it away from me and lied to me after that i had it.

I have deleted a page that only some will really know what i am talking about when i mention. This was done out of respect. I change nothing about my viewpoint. I was aggressive in my approach but I am wary that the gravity of the topic is something I feel required it. I do not accept a lot of things going on. But I am going to allow time and observe what happens. I will respond to a genocide very strongly though. I am hoping that I was heard and this act of respect will allow some individuals to feel less defensive in their view of these words, and think about anything they can do to mitigate this disaster more.  I am not abandoning anyone or any cause, and the decision to do this was a tough call. I do not want to make people feel like i take things back. A lot of times when i delete its because my approach was too strong or something has changed or it is just out of context and a danger to the cause after i write it and want that to be less of a thing. I say a lot, so there may be some things i missed and forgot about and moved on, sure, but i try to make it known that generally i will not take things back without saying so.

I can only do so much. I must cooperate in order to have a voice. I must try to cooperate to expect any in return. I am not in a position to have power in my art and words if i turn against a whole government that my country considers  an ally and refuse to be understanding at all. I will only lose that. I hope everyone can understand this and that I have to thread the needle and this is a very, very sensitive needle.

I will also be deactivating my profile on x and any other social media website when i can get back into it. I do not feel like it is beneficial if i get locked out of my 2fa all the time for whatever reason. It feels like a loss of control over my speech. I guess I can revisit that when I feel like i have more control over my account.

The album is now called Dysphoric Antipathy and is finished and available on my website for free download, no strings, no need to submit any information. This track, Saint, is dedicated to the Catholic Church, more specifically, the Pope. I wrote it 2 or 3 weeks ago. I named it Saint, and had no clue what I wrote it about. I decided it was a generic song about betrayal, but after reading the news today and then speaking out about it, i listened again, and realized I, once again (complicated story) wrote a song about something that hadn't happened yet and got way specific. It is definitely about this. There is not anything else it could have been for.  

Own a copy of the new album Making Illusions, which cannot be removed from your library without your consent someday in the future, before i am potentially erased by controlling hands.

CD version comes
with download of lost album Solarize.

All versions come with high definition versions of music videos for disappearing peoples and making illusions clear.

Vinyl release will be by each order and
more limited and pressed in a more time consuming way for each order. this will make this a much more special experience for each copy. 

For today’s podcast we listen to Making Illusions Clear, from Making Illusions (War is Not Real/Reality of War Is)

Come on over to the official website and leave a comment for Jeramy of how you feel about the record!

INF(INI)ERIOR(ITY)

link redacted

new date tba

LUMEN 

https://tendingsands.com 

Looked around I couldn’t see you
I can barely see myself 
Something in me always feels used
My blood is cold and so so are you

Fluorescent
Fluorescent
Shining with or without me
Fluorescent

Looked around I couldn’t see you
I can barely see myself
I feel misplaced in your
My blood is warm when I’m with you

Fluorescent 
Fluorescent
Shining with or without me
Inside outside me
Forever
Fluorescent

Looked around I couldn’t see you
I seem misplaced with you
My blood is warm when I’m with you

Fluorescent 
Fluorescent
Shining with or without me
inside outside me
Forever
Fluorescent

Got a suprise for ya 

https://soundcloud.com/tending-sands/sets/scrape-the-floor-b-sides?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing